Archives for : Holidays

The One with the Foot Injury

Ever do something and think that your life could be an episode of “Friends?”

My life is not always funny, but always entertaining. I have an identical twin brother who knows me so well, that we don’t even have to talk to know what each other are thinking. Don’t believe me?
It is 6:25 p.m. on a Thursday, so my brother is sad that there is no new CSI on, happy that dinner is soon and probably thinking about cheese.
My sister is great, but in the mornings has a tendency to de-evolve and communicate solely via a series of grunts.
My mom and dad are a set of characters that I will not even go into here. Suffice it to say, it is where I get my wacky sense of humour, my love for movies and my addiction to all things cheese. Seriously, I need to develop a 12 step thing.

Let me paint a scene of something that actually happened to me yesterday.

I was at home, sick … AGAIN. This flu is kicking my ass.

Anyway, I go into the kitchen to make myself some pasta, as it is the only thing my sore throat will let in. So, I am cooking and I walk towards the garbage to throw something out.

So, all I was thinking was, in a sort of sing-songy tune, “Hmmm, garbage, garbage … throwing out the garbage.” I take one step, two steps, 3 steps … and then I yell out, “OWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

I then proceeded to drop the garbage, limp over to the table and examine the pain on my right foot. Sticking out through my sock, is a tootpick, that has been bent in the middle, so one half is sticking through the sock and the other parallel to the sole of my foot. It almost appeared as if an ant had reached my foot and planted a FLAG POLE.

I yank out the toothpick … OW … followed by the sock. At first, I saw nothing, until little trickles of blood began to appear.

As skilled as an antelope, I hop down to the bathroom and wash of the foot. I pour Hydrogen Peroxide on it, and grit my teeth. With Hydrogen Peroxide, it doesn’t hurt initially, it takes a couple of seconds … ohhh, wait … here it comes … ahhhh.
The burning means that it is working!

Quickly, I grab a Band-Aid, put more Hydrogen Peroxide on the wound and place the bandage over the pierced foot.

I will have all you know, that I am perfectly fine now … but yesterday, yesterday I limped around a bit.

Now, here’s the kicker.

I DON’T USE TOOTHPICKS! The guy I live with does!

Sometimes I wonder, if I am at the epi-centre of a large cosmic joke.

“Let’s throw this at David today and see how he responds.
Ohh, he’s starting an apprenticeship? Let’s make it really snow, give him a transit strike AND give him a bad flu. That’ll be fin to watch!”

And before anyone posts angry comments, I KNOW I am not the epi-centre of the universe, and that the fates are not conspired against me. After all, you would have to believe in fate and destiny, right? 😉

One last thing, I am heading home for the holidays soon and I am greatly looking forward to it. Most of my friends from the program have already left, and I cannot wait to see my friends back in Toronto (you know who you are!)

The Ultimate Interview – Holiday Edition

It was a cold December night, just like any other,
The only ones left walking, were holding another.

There was a light dusting of snow left-over from the previous day,
As the weather was fairly mild in its own particular way.

Walking home in the dark night, David pondered the mystery that is his life,
‘Is this all there is?’ he thought, ‘Why is my life filled with such strife?’

The reasons David thought this were simple, as his school year ended with his freedom restored,
However my friends, David was bored.

David sighed with a breath, as his iPod sang,
When all of the sudden, he heard a very large *BANG*

‘What the hell was that?’ David thought, and looked for the source of the sound,
On his left, was a roofer, crawling around.

The roofer walked down the ladder, and approached David with a smile,
And he said, “I assure you my friend, I am not hostile.”

David was speechless, and for those who know him, this is quite a feat.
As he stared dumbfounded, into the middle of the street.

The man was of the elderly sort, yet full of joy.
He was dressed in grey slacks and a white shirt, for all to enjoy.

The shirt was adorned with red suspenders, which complimented his red and white poof-ball hat.
His smile was large, and encouraged a friendly chat.

His belly was fat and his face full of joy,
As he stroked his beard, he said, “How are you David, my boy?”

As David shook his hand, and said, “How do you know my name?”
The man replied, with a smile, “Sorry David, confusing you was not my aim.”

The man then said, without a pause,
“Nice to meet you David, I’m Santa Claus!”

As David examined the man, with his grin and his hat,
‘Holy shit,’ David thought, ‘I’m crazier than I thought.’

“I’m sorry sir, but you must have been misled,
I’m not who you are looking for, I must head to bed.”

“Nonsense,” he said, with a twinkle in his eye,
“I have some wisdom which I’d like to imply”

“You fear that your life is headed in the wrong direction,
That this entire career change warrants further inspection.
You worry that all your new friends will start to ignore you,
I’m telling you now, this is not true.
The friends you make now, in this very school,
Will remain yours for a long time, so don’t be a fool.
This part of your life serves its own special role,
and eventually you will reach your long-sought goal.
And what I say next, pass onto those you know:
Don’t be afraid of new experiences, they teach you to grow.
The choices you make, will affect you in ways unforeseen,
If life is a play, this is all one little scene!
Before I bid you adieu, one more thing I must impart,
Be happy and healthy, and always follow your heart.”

And with a flash of light, the man disappeared,
‘Wow,’ David thought, ‘Wasn’t that a bit weird?’

With the man’s words still echoing in his mind,
meanings of the words, he did struggle to find.

David took a deep breath, in which to say it out loud,
“My dreams I shall follow,” and with that, he vowed.

Such ends this story, which is fiction, I know,
But don’t be afraid of letting your life ebb and flow.

A lifetime of experiences begin, and more,
with that one little step, out the door.